Giving and Forgiving

In today's climate we think of forgiveness as having to do with our own internal emotional state. Like Dr. Phil, you forgive so that you can deal with the turmoil in your own soul. I have no doubt we need to work through that internal turmoil, but forgiveness doesn't have primarily to do with that; it has primarily to do with my relationship to the person who has wronged me. When I forgive someone, in that act I blame the person. We affirm that a wrong has been committed. It's a social event, it happens between people, it doesn't happen within the mind of one person. The accused must hear and understand that they've done something wrong for the transaction to be complete.

Miroslav Volf, "Giving and Forgiving" (Scroll down a ways)